Archive for July, 2010

7
Jul


Let’s talk positively about pornography

Last year, more than 500 million X-rated videos were rented in the United States. Unless this involves 500 perverts renting a million tapes each, porn consumers are a very, very large group. They are, in fact, us.Oprah, Jerry Springer, Ann Landers and self-appointed decency groups love to talk about the dangers of pornography: It warps your mind, destroys your marriage, steals your money and undermines America by turning regular people into dangerous animals.

Is this your experience?

There’s plenty to say about porn that isn’t being said. It’s fun. It makes masturbation hotter, heats you up for your partner, adds spice to a couple’s sex life, and makes many people feel more normal about their fantasies and preferences.

Perhaps most importantly, it validates a vision of sexual abundance and uninhibited playfulness. In porn-land, the actresses never say no, the actors never lose their erections, nobody’s ever too tired, angry, or nervous and the sex makes everybody smile.

A few fortunate people live like this. And some people explicitly reject such a world. The rest of us-the average Joe and Jane with kids, bills, bellies and sexual anxieties-desperately need a positive vision of sexuality. Men and women who have one need it validated; people who don’t need to get one.

It’s unfortunate that surgically enhanced actresses, improbable situations and silly dialogue are the main repository of the sex-positive narrative in this country. But it’s better than nothing.

Our culture is obsessed with narrowing people’s sexual options and compulsively repeating lies about sexual danger. Pornography is one of the few places the average person can go to behold positive, unapologetic eroticism.

When Washington, the Vatican, the TV networks, and the sexual disaster industry get together to provide a positive, loving picture of sexual abundance that will nourish people, “pornographic” excess will be left to cooking channels and home shopping networks. Until then, sexy videos, magazines and Victoria’s Secret will be a critical part of America’s mental health.

Don’t be ashamed of it.

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Category : Blog
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