Archive for 2010

15
Sep


There isn’t anything that all men love, but fellatio — having the penis licked, sucked or kissed — comes close.

Most men have their fellatio preferences and dislikes. Generally, they love when their partner is enthusiastic, relaxed and knowledgeable. As with other kinds of sex, men dislike fellatio when a partner is too rough, too gentle, inattentive to feedback or seems bored or resentful.

Men also don’t like to feel pressure to get erect or climax quickly to validate their partner’s skill. You can’t simply memorize the “best” way to do fellatio. You need to learn the particular things that your guy likes.

Fortunately, many people who make love to men enjoy fellatio, and they have preferences too. To avoid gagging or sore necks, every couple needs to discover the most comfortable positions. This will often be mouth on top and penis on bottom, allowing the top to control the depth and speed of penile thrusting.

Some people like to pretend that they’re being forced to fellate, while others hate to have their hair pulled. Communication is essential.

Any discussion of fellatio must address two questions: ejaculating and swallowing. Some people don’t want their mate to ejaculate into their mouth; others are OK with this, but don’t want to swallow semen.

The person doing the fellating should get the only vote on these questions. You should be in charge of what goes in your mouth or down your throat. Any guy who says he feels rejected if he can’t come in your mouth or if you won’t swallow his semen is either spoiled or selfish.

How can you respond to such selfishness? “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth,” or “I give you fabulous oral sex and you’re still not satisfied? Maybe we should forget the head altogether.”

You can invite him to lick his hand after he masturbates to give him some perspective, but remember, you don’t need a good reason to set limits.

Fellatio can, er, climax with him saying, “I’m gonna come,” and you stroking his penis while he does. Or he can come in your mouth and you can gracefully spit into a tissue a moment or two later.

Fellatio was glorified by the Greeks and damned by J. Edgar Hoover. You and your mate can make your own decision. Together.

Tips:

  • There isn’t anything inherently dirty about a penis, especially after a shower.
  • If your mate licks your vulva, you don’t “owe” him fellatio.
  • Feel free to pause or rest during fellatio, and to talk or cuddle if you like.

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Category : Blog
8
Sep


Is your relationship going strong or struggling for survival? Every relationship has difficulties, but some couples really are in trouble. Wake up to these common warning signs.

Avoidance. Like medicine, certain conversations are necessary for relationship health. If you (or your mate) keep avoiding certain topics, such as sex, money or chores, it means you don’t trust the relationship’s mechanisms for fixing things.

Some people avoid their mate in other ways: taking on extra work or community projects, always inviting friends or family to join them, or going to bed earlier or later than their partner. All of these create more distance.

Adversaries. The goal of healthy conflict is for people to understand each other’s viewpoint and make adjustments for the benefit of the relationship. If you are so angry that you deliberately say things to hurt your partner, you both have a problem.

It’s also a problem if you often feel defensive. Your relationship should be a place where you feel comfortable, accepted and trusted. If you’re always ready to explain or defend yourself, as if the next attack is just around the corner, the relationship is no longer your home.

That sour taste. You can gauge your relationship by listening to the way you talk about it with your friends. Do you complain a lot? Call your mate names like “ball and chain” or “Godzilla”? Are you jealous of your friends, wishing you had their life or their partner? Do you fantasize much about how great it would be to be single? These are all messages that your relationship is in trouble.

Don’t panic if you notice one of these warning signs in a week. But if you’re aware of several, or one persists, take action.

Talk to your mate honestly, even though now that’s the most difficult thing for you to do. If you can’t begin to resolve your problems, seek professional help. As with our physical health, many complex relationship problems can be healed if addressed in time.

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Category : Blog
1
Sep


Our anuses are misunderstood. Loaded with nerve endings, the anus is a definite source of sexual pleasure — once you get past the aesthetic and cultural issues.

According to every recent sex survey, millions of men and women enjoy sexual pleasure involving their anus. Millions more are curious. A few simple facts can enlighten everyone.

Anal play can involve gently stimulating the opening, inserting something into the first half-inch of the rectum or going much further in — with or without vigorous movement. Some people dislike all three, some like one of these, while others like all of them.

The only way to know your partner’s preference is to ask. If you want to experiment with your partner, discuss it when you’re feeling close.

The three most important aspects of anal sex are lubrication, lubrication, lubrication. Use plenty before and during. Equally important is the initial speed, which should be slightly slower than a snail’s pace. Think of this not as an obstacle, but rather as an exotic, sexy part of the experience.

A person on the receiving end should keep relaxing the anal muscles from start to finish. You should communicate with your partner to ensure that any discomfort is immediately relieved, and that he or she feels safe and connected.

Anal stimulation can be combined with other activities: stroking the clitoris, inserting something into the vagina, massaging the prostate, role-playing or spanking.

Because the anus is part of a waste elimination system, care must be taken with bacteria. Never slip a finger, toy or penis from the anus into the vagina. And be careful with fingernails, jewelry and large penises.

Anal play is a time-honored activity that provides couples who communicate well an extra venue for their erotic exploration. You can’t get pregnant from it, which may be a bonus. And a few women consider it the primary way they climax.

Only you, of course, can decide if it’s something you want to explore.

Tips:

  • Some people like anal sex because it feels naughty or taboo, a perfectly good reason.
  • There are specially shaped vibrators and dildos for anal play.
  • No matter how excited you are, never have anal play without plenty of lube. You could endanger yourself and not realize it until days later.

 

Popularity: unranked [?]

Category : Blog
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