Archive for June, 2011

29
Jun


Our anuses are misunderstood. Loaded with nerve endings, the anus is a definite source of sexual pleasure — once you get past the aesthetic and cultural issues.

According to every recent sex survey, millions of men and women enjoy sexual pleasure involving their anus. Millions more are curious. A few simple facts can enlighten everyone.

Anal play can involve gently stimulating the opening, inserting something into the first half-inch of the rectum or going much further in — with or without vigorous movement. Some people dislike all three, some like one of these, while others like all of them.

The only way to know your partner’s preference is to ask. If you want to experiment with your partner, discuss it when you’re feeling close.

The three most important aspects of anal sex are lubrication, lubrication, lubrication. Use plenty before and during. Equally important is the initial speed, which should be slightly slower than a snail’s pace. Think of this not as an obstacle, but rather as an exotic, sexy part of the experience.

A person on the receiving end should keep relaxing the anal muscles from start to finish. You should communicate with your partner to ensure that any discomfort is immediately relieved, and that he or she feels safe and connected.

Anal stimulation can be combined with other activities: stroking the clitoris, inserting something into the vagina, massaging the prostate, role-playing or spanking.

Because the anus is part of a waste elimination system, care must be taken with bacteria. Never slip a finger, toy or penis from the anus into the vagina. And be careful with fingernails, jewelry and large penises.

Anal play is a time-honored activity that provides couples who communicate well an extra venue for their erotic exploration. You can’t get pregnant from it, which may be a bonus. And a few women consider it the primary way they climax.

Only you, of course, can decide if it’s something you want to explore.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Category : Blog
8
Jun


The only time sex should hurt is when you want it to hurt. Spanking, nipple pinching, and other kinds of rough play have an honorable history among consenting adults. But sometimes sex hurts when you don’t want it to.

Sexual acts themselves can be painful. Causes can be mechanical: tiny fissures around the labia or penile shaft, too much friction due to inadequate lubrication, awkward angles of insertion or containment. Active lesions from STDs such as herpes can make even light pressure painful. More serious physical causes include endometriosis, fibroids and Peyronie’s disease.

Some causes are psychological: Anxiety or anger can narrow the vaginal opening. Even simple touch can hurt when you’re grappling with strong feelings. Our gag reflex can be triggered by smell, sound, making kissing or oral sex an ordeal.

People over 40 often start noticing something new: Sex begins to hurt because it involves stretching, twisting, weight bearing, and aerobic stress. As you age you may have less tolerance, for example, for tilting your neck when performing cunnilingus, hyper-extending your lower back during traditional intercourse, or squeezing and pulling.

What can we do about this? If something aches, move it or rest it. Develop a repertoire of sexual activities that hurt less. Tell your partners what’s uncomfortable so they’ll stop expecting those things. To warm up for sex, stretch, take a hot bath and perhaps some aspirin. At 40 or 50, it’s part of sex.

Coming to terms with our sexual limitations is part of coming to terms with middle age. It’s rarely discussed; people talk freely about having to give up running or tennis, but not about how, say, tendonitis limits their masturbation.

But ignoring these changes can undermine the sex, while exacerbating the pain. Ultimately, having good sex in the shadow of our physical limitations requires that we admit what’s going on, and adapt accordingly. That means finding ways to deal with the grief of losing cherished sexual activities because of joint pain or limited range of motion.

In middle age, grief is a sexual frontier.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Category : Blog
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