Archive for 2011

23
Feb


When George W. Bush accepts his party’s nomination tonight, he will stand with the person he believes makes him a better candidate.

Selecting and keeping a partner in love and romance is a little like choosing a political running mate: You want someone who balances the ticket.

Just as VP nominee Dick Cheney, a former defense secretary, makes up for Bush’s observed weakness on international issues, partners in any walk of life ought not be carbon copies.

Differences between you and your mate bring new skills, ideas and talents to your team.

Consider these five pointers on creating a balanced relationship ticket:

  1. Agree on the big stuff.
  2. The Democrats and Republicans may talk about big tent philosophies, but they don’t ignore their party platforms. “Sharing core values provides a foundation of mutual interest for a good relationship,” says Kevin Gogin, a marriage, family and child counselor in San Francisco.

    Core values include everything from religious orientation to views on child-raising and life philosophies.

    Who’s neat or messy has nothing to do with core values, explains Carol Kaplan, a marriage and family counselor in Monterey, Calif. It’s like Felix and Oscar of Odd Couple fame. They get on each other’s nerves, but they agree on underlying politics, morals and ethics.

  3. Discuss issues together.
  4. Specialization in a relationship is terrific. But it only works so long as you include your partner in decision-making.

    You may be an expert on antiques, but your partner has to sit in that old chair every day. Your spouse handles all the finances, but you still ought to know where your retirement money is invested, the name of your mortgage company and the balances of your various accounts. Each has a vested interest in every decision.

  5. Enjoy togetherness and separateness.
  6. Couples with children know about specialization. He does laundry; she watches the kids. But your differences may even affect leisure time. When your spouse has to attend a networking event with business associates on a Friday night resist the temptation to tag along.

  7. Throw guilt and resentment out the window.
  8. Your partner cooks, cleans and does the dishes. You take out the trash. Before you feel guilty, look at the big picture. You also fix things around the house, oversee contractors and run the broken cars to the shop. Are you both happy with this arrangement? Talk about it.

    If there is an imbalance, real or perceived, someone is going to feel resentful. Bring those feelings out in the open.

  9. Don’t try to change your partner.
  10. It’s a mistake, Gogin says, to assume you share values with your partner if they’ve never been expressed. It is also unwise to hold out hope for a miraculous change in your significant other. If he’s a heavy drinker who stays out late, don’t expect his behavior to change after you marry.

    Negotiation is the alternative to change, says Kaplan. Your partner can learn to wash every dish he uses, even if deep down he’d rather let them pile up in the sink. That’s called a concession, not a change.

In the end, you may appreciate those quirky personality differences. The neatnik may need to loosen up, and the slob may need to straighten up. If you form a well-balanced ticket, you will always have something to learn from each other.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Category : Blog
16
Feb


Q. What is sex therapy and how do I know if I need it?

. Sex therapy is a set of behavioral and psychotherapeutic techniques used with men, women and couples to enhance sexual functioning. You might see a sex therapist if you don’t get erections when you want to; get excited but can’t climax; have pain with intercourse; or notice your sexual enjoyment declining and don’t know why.

Couples go to a sex therapist when they argue about frequency (she wants sex twice a week, he wants it twice a year); preferences (he wants oral sex, she doesn’t); or what’s acceptable (he wants to watch porn and she doesn’t, or she wants monogamy and he doesn’t). Your psychologist or physician might refer you to sex therapy if they can’t provide a solution to (or they aren’t comfortable with) your difficulty.

Q. How can I be sure the sex therapist is credible?

A. Above all, a good sex therapist is a good psychotherapist, someone who can ask questions you haven’t thought of, and see patterns you haven’t seen. Select a professional with a good reputation, or get a recommendation from a physician or friend. You want someone who’s comfortable with sex, and with whom you feel you can tell the truth without being judged. If the therapist seems more interested in him- or herself than in you, flirts with you or suggests that you’re abnormal or kinky, run for the door.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Category : Blog
9
Feb


In the movie City Slickers, the wisecracking lead character says, “Men don’t need a reason to have sex; they just need a place.”

The place? How about an MRI tube, that long, narrow tunnel where medical personnel take pictures of your insides to figure out what’s wrong.

The reason? Let’s try furthering medical science.

The eight couples that helped produce first-ever Magnetic Resonance Imaging pictures of human sexual intercourse proved that the penis bends backwards — like a boomerang — during missionary position coitus.

schwing Dutch Capture Hot Sex on MRI

Admittedly, romance was challenged in the claustrophic space where movement is actually forbidden, but researchers threw up a makeshift curtain for privacy and asked each couple to hold still just long enough to capture their pelvises on the mark and in focus.

All but one couple needed a boost from Viagra.

The Viagra-free couple was, not coincidentally, “a pair of amateur street acrobats who are trained and used to performing under stress,” according to Willibrord Weijmar Schultz, an associate professor of gynecology at the University Hospital Groningen in the Netherlands.

This pair of high-achieving research participants may have been happy to find any suitable place. But Schultz nonetheless praised “their scientific curiosity, knowledge of the body and artistic commitment.”

The researcher regarded his experiment as a true artistic endeavor. After all, didn’t Leonardo da Vinci produce an elegant but now inaccurate anatomical sketch called “The Copulation” some 500 years ago? The MRI art Schultz produced may not be theMona Lisa, but he can say he set the Renaissance master straight about the bend.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Category : Blog
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