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16
Jun


While an erection isn’t necessary for sexual satisfaction, most men and their partners do like having one around during sex. Not surprisingly, then, erection problems and rapid ejaculation are two of the most common problems in my practice.

One or more of the following common dynamics usually causes such problems:

Conditions: Do you have the conditions you need to get or keep erections? For various men, these include a sense of safety, trust, privacy, affection, relaxation and a partner’s enthusiasm.

Performance anxiety: Do you feel pressured to get erect quickly, or to maintain an erection until your partner climaxes? Do you (or your partner) feel that the dependability of your erection reflects your level of masculinity, or of how much you desire your partner?

The relationship: Does your relationship offer peace of mind, emotional satisfaction, a sense of belonging? Or is it a place of periodic turmoil, in which you feel misunderstood, powerless, resentful?

Internal psychology: How do you feel about yourself, women (men if you’re gay), sex? Do you have unfinished business from a previous relationship, from childhood or adolescence?

When men want my help in getting or keeping erections, I start at the top of this list and work downward until the problem is resolved. And it usually is — erection difficulties and rapid ejaculation are among the most easily resolved sexual complaints.

I accomplish this by de-emphasizing intercourse and other sources of performance anxiety; encouraging communication before, during and after sex to demystify the erotic relationship; supporting self-knowledge and the entitlement to ask for what one wants; and helping clients develop insight into their psychological processes and character dynamics.

If you or a loved one is struggling with getting or keeping it up, see a professional before the month’s out. No man (or couple) should suffer unnecessarily.

Sex therapists, psychologists and physicians are the professionals best trained to diagnose and treat erection and rapid ejaculation problems. Herbs, creams, “aphrodisiacs” and gadgets are worthless for getting it up or lasting longer. Viagra doesn’t work for everyone, and it doesn’t solve psychological or relationship problems for anyone.

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15
Jun


Foreplay begins not when you start caressing each other, but earlier — as soon as you begin thinking about each other. The brain is the body’s biggest sexual organ. Use it to arouse your whole day.

Call your partner during the day of your “date” and tell her how much you like her body. Talk dirty a little.

For women, self-esteem is crucial, Blank says. If you’re confident enough to not have any negative feelings about your body, you’re one of a tiny minority. Women need to know that they’re sexy.

Some men like to know that their mate is wearing sexy underwear all day; it heightens their anticipation.

Ask her one day over dinner what turns her on. It could be as simple as candlelight, or as involved as her pretending to be the sea captain and you her galley slave. Whatever. Then, another day, make her fantasy come true. Women enjoy sex much more when you properly set the mood.

Personally, I feel more comfortable making love if I’ve had a shower. I feel better about my body if I know it doesn’t smell of sweat, and I prefer my partner to be clean too. Any time we travel, we look for a place with a hot tub.

But this is (ba-da-dum) personal taste. The French believe that body odor is crucial to sex, as evidenced by the famous telegraph from Napoleon to Josephine: “I will be arriving in Paris tomorrow evening. Don’t wash.”

Ah, those French, they’ll eat anything. One last point about scheduling: don’t limit yourself to the evening. Men are more easily aroused, and have more energy, in the morning. Consider breakfast in bed next weekend; food is optional.

 

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9
Jun


It seems you can’t pick up a newspaper or magazine these days without reading about “sexual dysfunction.” While it’s great that sexual issues are being discussed publicly, some of the talk is misleading.

Some physicians, drug companies and the self-help industry seem to believe that everyone should be able to function sexually under all circumstances — and that if we can’t, we have a sexual dysfunction. That’s how they arrive at their recent inflated numbers: that 20 million men are “impotent,” and 40 million women have “female sexual dysfunction.”

These numbers are a product of extremely broad categories. In reality, no body works perfectly all the time. Someone should only be diagnosed sexually dysfunctional if his or her difficulty is chronic, occurring repetitively over a period of time.

All limp penises are not alike. The guy who can’t get it up while feeling the pressure of trying to conceive, the guy who loses his erection when he has sex while angry and the guy who has never had reliable erections as an adult are three entirely different cases. The first two men are certainly not impotent, and the third’s problem may be emotional, physical or some of each.

Similarly, a woman who can’t climax with a husband who criticizes her all week long, a woman who can’t orgasm because she’s too inhibited to ask for her favorite touching and a woman who can’t enjoy sex at all because she was traumatized as a girl are three entirely different situations. We’d have to know more about each of them to know exactly what’s wrong, and what would help them most.

Sexual desire and response involve a complicated mix of biology, psychology, culture and situation. Our bodies require the right blend of all of these to function the way we’d like. Labeling someone or yourself as “dysfunctional” without taking this into account is a mistake. Don’t let a narrow-minded pharmaceutical/medical industry or the simplistic popular press persuade you that you have a problem when you’re merely human.

Our emotions and genitals are connected, and so our feelings affect our sexual functioning. An occasional disappointment does not make you dysfunctional. For an accurate diagnosis of any sexual difficulty, see a sex therapist or specially trained physician; magazines or self-help books are insufficient.

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2
Jun


As easy to use as Viagra, a cream called Topiglan shows promise in treating erectile dysfunction with fewer side effects than the blue pill, reports the urologist leading studies on the drug for MacroChem pharmaceuticals.

Applied to the head of the penis, Topiglan is a new way to deliver a well-established drug called alprostadil, which, like Viagra, increases blood flow to the penis.

“This is truly a novel administration of a well-accepted medicine,” says Dr. Irwin Goldstein, the Boston University urologist leading the current round of studies on Topiglan.

In clinical trials on men with moderate to severe impotence, Topiglan had a 40 percent success rate in producing erections that were likely to have been satisfactory for sexual intercourse, according to the study.

Goldstein’s study involved measuring erections in men who were observed in a partnerless “rather clinical” setting. The next phase of testing, Goldstein said, will include at-home trials.

“No soft lights, no music, not even a partner, and yet, within 45 to 60 minutes of applications, almost 40 percent of the impotent men receiving Topiglan produced erections sufficient for intercourse, versus less than 7 percent receiving a placebo gel,” said Goldstein.

The worst recorded side effect of the cream was skin irritation, reported Goldstein. The side effects of Viagra are well documented, including blurred vision, headaches and potential complications in patients who take other medications.

At present, the options for administering alprostadil are injection at the base of the penis or catheterization in the urethra before intercourse.

Goldstein is cautiously optimistic about the prospects for developing a prescription ointment. MacroChem President Alvin Karloff said the gel could be ready for the American market in two or three years, if continued studies and FDA approval go smoothly.

Meanwhile, another company, NexMex of Robbinsville, N.J., says it is on a fast track to develop a similar alprostadil-based gel, which it hopes to have for sale on international markets early next year, according to vice president Vivian Liu.

That company recently reported favorable results from a study in China among men suffering from mild to moderate impotence.

Karloff did not rule out the possibility of a somewhat accelerated timetable for Topiglan development for the international market. He stressed that an absolute guarantee of Topiglan’s safety and efficacy has to be established.

An impotence gel has shown promise in a clinical setting. The product, Topiglan, is scheduled for at-home testing. The active ingredient in Topiglan is aprostrodil, which dilates blood vessels in the penis. A competitor to the company developing Topiglan plans to put its product on the international market soon.

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1
Jun


VigRX and Vimax are herbal supplements that help men improve sexual performance, particularly with the problematic aspects of sex like erection intensity and maintenance throughout lovemaking, penis length, penis girth, and control of premature ejaculation.

Both supplements have been growing in popularity over the years because of two reasons: mode of acquisition and effectiveness.

First of all, you do not need a doctor’s prescription to buy these supplements. Unlike prescription drugs like viagra or cialis, these herbal supplements can be bought by adult males even without the doctor’s consent. However, I suggest you ask your doctor about possible allergic reactions to the herbal ingredients.

Main Effects

These herbal supplements contain substances from plants that can improve blood flow to the penis during sex. These herbal drugs (also known as herbal aphrodisiacs) help improve your over-all health, not just your sexual health, but admittedly, your main goal is to improve your circulation so that it directly affects the way you make love.

Ingredients

Vimax contains extracts from Gingko biloba, a traditional herb that is commonly used for improving blood circulation. In ancient times, this herb was said to be the cure-all for most human diseases. Vimax also contains saw palmetto, ginseng, horny goat weed, and cayenne fruit essences.

VigRX ingredients include extracts from the damiana plant (Turnera aphrodisiaca), Tribulus terrestris, ginseng plants and other herbs with similar effects on vasodilatation and blood flow. The herbs in Vig-RX have also been traditionally used for improving athletic and sexual performance.

The most recent version of Vigrx contains bioperine (a substance extracted from Piper nigrum), which supposedly improves the body’s absorption of all the other herbal ingredients. The addition of bioperine in Vigrx is said to be a breakthrough in the formulation because the additional ingredient shortens the ‘waiting time’ for the effects to become obvious.

Administration

Like other vitamins, one pill a day should be enough. However, VigRX and Vimax retailers recommend that taking one pill twice a day can improve your sexual prowess more.

Price

Vimax costs 59 USD per bottle, and each bottle contains 30 pills. VigRX costs 76.99 USD per box, and box contains enough pills to last for one month. Discounts are offered when you order multiple bottles or boxes.

Long-Term Effects

Both Vimax and Vigrx improve the girth and length of your penis when you have an erection, but only Vimax claims that the effect will extend even when you are not using the drug anymore (is “forever” long enough for you?).

The mechanism of erection maintenance has something to do with the way blood suffuses the spongy cavity inside your penis. If these drugs work as they claim, the blood flow to your penis is stronger, making it look a lot bigger than normal. Of course, when your erection is gone, the limp penis still has the same dimensions.

3f5c1defc4885636325ce7913b8af998 VigRX vs. Vimax

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1
Jun


Here’s another benefit of education: If you went to college, you’re twice as likely, compared to high-school dropouts, to enjoy oral sex.

Don’t underestimate the importance of going down. Married men will pay strangers if they’re not getting oral sex at home; it’s estimated that 75 percent of New York City streetwalkers’ business is fellatio.

While men love it, many women need it. A survey of Army wives in happy marriages showed they could reach orgasm through intercourse only 25 percent of the time, but with cunnilingus, it’s 81 percent. So be all that you can be!

Just as with gifts, being a good recipient will pay off in the long run. If your partner wants you to bathe first (I always do), do it, without protesting about the importance of natural aroma. Making love is not about scoring political points — it’s about making each other happy.

Here are more tips for giving and getting. Your relationship may depend on it more than you realize.

Cunnilingus

Women sometimes complain that men don’t know what women like. There’s a good reason.

Sex advice columnist Dan Savage recently ran a series of letters from women describing what turned them on, and each had somebody directly contradict them. Some women want their clitoris sucked; others say it hurts.

Some women enjoy a tongue in their labia; others feel violated. Some women like men to hum the alphabet song while licking their clitoris in the shape of the letters; others think that’s childish and a turnoff, even if you can sing it in French.

What struck me about these letters was how many wrote “it’s good” rather than “I like.” It seems women don’t always realize their personal preference is just that.

This does not mean you shouldn’t have cunnilingus just the way you like it. However, you can’t expect your mate to know how that is. Nor, perhaps, do you even know how what’s best yourself.

There may be some exciting new technique you haven’t even tried that will revolutionize your sex life. Happy experimenting.

Don’t go straight for the genitals.

Many women find a direct clitoral assault physically painful. Kiss a bit and stroke the inner thighs first.

Get comfortable, both of you.

I like to be on my back when I’m performing cunnilingus, with a pillow or two under my head for neck support. I hate it when she’s on her back, but some women like the feel of the man kneeling before her. However, remember that if you ask your partner to do something that makes them uncomfortable, they’re not likely to volunteer often.

One more point — some nights women just don’t feel like getting head, even if they ordinarily enjoy it. If she says no twice and tries to push you away, believe her.

Hum while you lick and suck.

This turns your mouth into a vibrator. However, never blow air into the vagina — pregnant women have died from embolisms.

Ladies, moan loudly when you like something.

Don’t be shy about giving him direct instructions on where to lick, either. If you don’t tell him, he won’t know.

Fellatio

Conventional wisdom says fellatio is easier to get right than cunnilingus. There’s a barroom joke that goes, “I just had the worst blow job of my life. It was great.”

But Shere Hite reported that slightly more women can reach orgasm through oral sex than men. Most men like fellatio as foreplay, but as gay men with sore jaws will tell you, it’s not so easy to make it the final act.

Fortunately, men’s preferences are far more predictable in receiving oral sex than women’s. These tips will help pleasure most guys, presumably even Hugh Grant.

Keep your word, men.

If you promise not to come in her mouth, keep your promise. Otherwise, you may have traded hours of pleasurable fellatio foreplay for hours of apologizing and begging her to give you another chance.

If she doesn’t like the taste of semen, you can improve it through your diet. Pineapple juice is the most famous tonic. I drank a quart of this one afternoon and my partner, who wasn’t happy about participating in this experiment even for journalistic purposes, said it gave a pleasant enough citrus flavor that she was willing to try it again with different juices. (“Maybe mango next,” she said.) That’s a small price to pay, boys.

Pretend it’s a surprisingly warm popsicle.

Don’t be shy about handling the penis. You can save yourself a lot of gagging by gripping the base firmly and concentrating your mouth on the head and top of the shaft.

Men like it when you lick the shaft, and particularly when you lick the frenulum — a small strip of skin just below the head on the underside.

However, there’s no substitute for taking it in your mouth and just sucking. If you can lick while you’re doing it, even better. Pressure, motion and moisture will drive most men to distraction.

Try some additional flavoring.

Altoids got a great advertising boost when people began telling about sucking the mints at the same time they were giving fellatio. It’s an interesting change of pace — try it.

Other worthwhile experiments: hold a small ice cube in your mouth, or take occasional sips of hot tea.

Love me, love my Johnson.

Men place an enormous amount of personal value on their penis. If you love your man, think of his penis the same way — as an embodiment of him, who you’re making deliriously happy.

The best head I’ve ever received has depended not on technique, but on feeling: I feel like she really enjoyed doing it. Learn to feel this, or fake it convincingly, and you’ll have your partner glaze-eyed in no time.

 

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26
May


Women have sex more often after hysterectomy.

Women’s sex lives improve dramatically after hysterectomy, say authors of a two-year study at the University of Maryland School of Medicine. Contrary to conventional wisdom, many women enjoy increased sexual desire, have stronger and more frequent orgasms and experience less pain during intercourse after hysterectomy.

“We realize that our findings may be controversial,” says Dr. Kristen Kjerulff, associate professor of epidemiology and main investigator for the study. “The common perception has been that hysterectomy leads to sexual problems, but our evidence shows the opposite.”

The study published in a recent issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association surveyed 1,300 women between the ages of 35 and 50 over a two-year period. The women were interviewed before their hysterectomies, after the surgery, and five times during the two years. They were asked how often they had sex, about the frequency and strength of orgasm, and whether or not they experienced discomfort associated with vaginal dryness.

The Findings:

  • The number of women having sex at least five times a month increased by 10 percent.
  • After surgery, 72 percent said they had orgasms, compared to 63 percent before surgery.
  • The percentage of women reporting strong orgasms increased from 45 percent before hysterectomy to 57 percent after surgery.
  • The number of women experiencing painful intercourse dropped form 40 percent before hysterectomy to 15 percent two years later.
  • Least improved was vaginal dryness. The number without vaginal dryness rose from 37 percent before hysterectomy to 46 percent after surgery, and 35 percent who had dryness before the hysterectomy showed no measurable improvement.

Authors of the study believe hysterectomy provides relief from pain during sex and in turn restores desire and improves overall health.

A hysterectomy is the surgical removal of the uterus that also can be accompanied by removal of the fallopian tubes and ovaries. The leading cause is uterine fibroids, benign tumors that develop in the uterus.

Almost 600,000 women in the United States undergo hysterectomies every year. Dr. Kjerulff says a small percentage of women suffer sexual problems after hysterectomy. “Some women were worse off and we don’t want to forget those women, but for the vast majority of patients, negative symptoms were unusual.”

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