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26
Oct


Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. If you like what you see and want more of it be sure to follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.

Did you miss Pleasurists 152? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists 154? Be sure to read the submission guidelines and then use the submission form to submit before Sunday October 30th @ 11:59pm Pacific.

Want a shiny new toy? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Editor

Scarlet Lotus

On to the reviews:

Vibrators

Dildos

Anal Toys

Sleeves, Rings, & etc.

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

BDSM/Fetish

Adult DVDs & Porn

Sex Furniture

Lingerie

Miscellaneous

75f606e0b99d04aebb9dab5b988a7658 Pleasurists #153

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female gspot orgasm
22
Oct


Ratings
Overall
Ease of Use
Effectiveness

click here to visit blue1 JimmyJane Form 3 Review

At first glance, the Form 3 looks more like a serving spoon meant for serving soup than an erotic tool. It is an extremely strange-looking vibrator, but in a good way. Unlike the proverbial bullet vibrator used as a clitoral stimulator, the shape is wider and the design is more appropriate as a dildo that can be inserted sideways. But it’s definitely a clitoral stimulator in function.

Form3 box e1319024835272 JimmyJane Form 3 Review

My interaction with this particular Jimmyjane creation can only be described as a love-hate relationship. Read on to find out why it works for me, and what I did to get over my initial apprehensions about using it.

There’s a Reason for the Strange Design

I have bonded with the Form 3 from the moment it arrived in my doorstep. To be more specific, after I’ve charged it overnight on the base charger in plain sight. It doesn’t bother me to charge this vibrator where someone else might see it. It looks just like another strange gadget that today’s advanced technology has spawned. The shape of the Form 3 is technically oblong but the width tapers off from a wide base to a narrower tip. It measures four inches in length and can be held comfortably by one hand. The silicone body (phthalate-free) is incredibly soft, and would not feel bad on your skin even without lubrication.

Form3 inside e1319025001719 JimmyJane Form 3 Review

The bottom portion of the Form 3 is where the controls are. You can turn it on by pressing the plus button once, and then continue pressing to increase the vibration intensity. But the real secret of this design is in the top portion, which comprises an almost translucent center covered with membrane-like silicon. The whole top part of the Form 3 is flexible and bendable, which makes it easy for you to use your other hand to push through the silicone membrane and direct all the powerful vibrations to one spot.

How to Use It

If like me you didn’t watch the demo of how the Form 3 works, you’ll initially be confused about how to use the tool. Experiment further and you’ll find out why the Form 3 became popular among women and men alike.

I found the best way to use the Form 3 accidentally. Ideally, you can masturbate with the Form 3 with just one hand because of its unique design. Hold the base against the fleshy part of your pelvic region with the center of your palm. This way, you can use four fingers (except the thumb) to press against the flexible top part and touch the clitoris through the membrane. Poking your index finger or your middle finger through the silicone membrane while the whole thing is vibrating can feel like your actual finger is vibrating.

Another way to use it is to flick it over your erogenous zones like its tongue-like design suggests. You can also press the softer top portion on your nipples and play with them with your fingers through the membrane. I like the Form 3 better for couple’s play because your partner can do the pressing and the poking while you concentrate on increasing or decreasing the intensity of the vibrations.

Disadvantages of the Form 3

There are some drawbacks, and you will not know what these are until you try the product on your own. Unlike a bullet vibrator, you have to keep one or two fingers pressed on the membrane to maximize the use of the Form 3. This can cause a cramp around the joints of your fingers if it takes longer for you to climax. Also, you can’t push the whole length of your finger through the membrane, in case you feel like doing so for touching other, deeper spots.

This limitation may be one of the reasons why some women don’t like this design. Not all women are built the same, anatomically. Some women have fleshier mounds. This means the clitoral region is harder to reach unless there’s someone else around that can spread the labia enough for the Form 3’s silicone membrane to be pressed directly on top of the clitoris.

Why I Recommend Form 3

Despite the drawbacks, the thin, membrane-like portion of flexible silicone is brilliant. The material is tight enough to conduct the vibrations from the base of Form 3, but still flexible enough to be manipulated without much trouble. To say that you can touch yourself with pinpoint accuracy is a stretch, but there are other ways to use this sex toy that work great.

The silicone is also very soft, especially when you apply lubricant. The sensation of the soft membrane on the clitoris is phenomenal, and not many vibrator brands can compare. In the end, it’s all about the intensity of the vibrations and how well you can play with it. The design may be odd, but it takes a smart (and horny) woman to find out Form 3’s true potential as a pleasure tool.

click here to visit blue1 JimmyJane Form 3 Review

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19
Oct


If you think sex after marriage is as oxymoronic as “educational TV,” consider the advice of Jan Brown, an Austin, Texas, marriage counselor who’s among the advocates of Hot Monogamy a strategy for keeping passion alive in long-term relationships.

First, advises Brown, get over the idea that your sex life isn’t normal if it doesn’t look like a magazine ad. “A lot of couples come to me thinking their problem is that the good sex isn’t automatically there, like it is on television.

“In real life, it rarely is `just there.’ Sex, like anything else in a relationship, is a process of building, communicating and negotiating with each other.”

Why then, if good sex requires time and work, do many people feel sexy only in their early courtship — or with a new partner? It’s a simple matter of chemistry, replies Brown.

“When you first meet someone, there’s an increase in the brain of a chemical known as phenylethylanine, or P.E.A.,” she explains. “The same chemical is associated with fear and excitement; it’s even used in diet pills, because P.E.A. is an appetite suppressant.”

As P.E.A levels wear off — often within the first two years of being together, the excitement of sex may wear off as well. But P.E.A. levels can be elevated by experimenting in the bedroom.

That is why, she says, couples who want to improve their sex lives have to be open to trying new things. It’s not going to happen if your sexual routine is just that — a routine.

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12
Oct


They have wrinkles, perhaps a few pounds too many and lower backs that ache when they bend and twist the wrong way.

But that doesn’t stop them from being excited about their sex lives. And we meanvery excited.

We’re talking about the more than 160 myprimetime readers who wrote us in response to our story Great Sex Comes to Those Who Age. The sentiment was “Right On” and “Bravo,” since the article dispelled the myth that your sex life has seen better days by, say, 45.

These gleeful testimonials celebrating the splendors of midlife sex reinforce some universal secrets that really shouldn’t be secrets at all. They also suggest that if everything works and your general health is good, there is no reason for passion to ebb.

“I never thought in my wildest dreams that it would get as good as it has at this point in my life,” writes Bill, who is 51.

“This article is right on the money,” writes Dulce, who’s 58. “My sex drive now is as good if not better than when I was in my early 30s.”

Yes, our electronic deluge of responses also included a few skeptics who said a flowering sexuality after the bloom of youth is “rubbish,” and another example of “denial” and PC propaganda.

“The baby boomers are at it again!” writes Michael, who counts himself among the boomer crowd. “Let’s stop deluding ourselves that we’re getting better, just because we’re aging.”

You can argue that it’s just trendy to say attitude is more important than biochemistry. But the vast majority of respondents who wrote to us make the point that sex is about a lot more than raging hormones. It’s about relating, communication, experimentation, intimacy and mutual pleasure-giving.

While myprimetimers had a great deal to say on the subject, we’ve narrowed down their words of wisdom to the following six secrets of great sex:

Slow way down.
If ever a cliché fit, it is here: It’s the journey that counts, not the destination.

Those who responded to the article used words like “savor,” “explore” and “discover.” They all talked about leaving behind the mad rush to orgasm.

Slow down and you will not only discover what works, but you’ll also encounter new surprises. File them away and pull them out the next time. There are detours and side streets that should be explored.

Rhonda writes that she and her husband of 27 years like to go slow, and when that feels good, they slow it down some more.

“When we begin to move into the home stretch toward orgasm, we pull in the reins a little so that the moment can be stretched out and enjoyed even longer. We have learned not to rush through what should be taken slowly and savored. We totally enjoy each other now like we never have before! Orgasm is secondary in the quest for great sex for us.”

Give and you will receive.
Are young people selfish or just overeager? Are they so concerned about performing they forget about creative ways or tried-and-true ways to please their partner?

One way or another, a theme among the correspondents is that the ability to give is something that is cultivated with time.

Michael, who is 49, writes about himself: “It is extremely pleasurable to know your partner is completely fulfilled. At a younger age I didn’t know how to or didn’t care — big mistake.”

Those who wrote in didn’t say that giving was an obligation they can tolerate, but a thrill in its own right, one of the best parts of sex.

Invest the time and you’ll get big returns.
You know the choreographed love scenes in movies. Sex is not a ballet. It does not always happen naturally and spontaneously. In truth, there is much to learn.

“Out of all the men I have dated and made love to, the ones who are 40 and up are much more satisfying and fun,” writes 46-year-old Marilyn. “The 26-year-old I dated I had to teach technique to and he still didn’t understand. I’m sure he will ‘get it’ at some point.”

Men and women both wrote in admitting they weren’t skillful lovers and really didn’t know what they were doing when they were in their 20s and 30s.

You don’t get to know each other without investing the time. Many longtime couples are highly practical about the whole thing, marking their calendars to set aside quality time.

“I have always believed in spontaneous sex as opposed to scheduled sex,” writes Alan, who is 69. “I never liked the ‘Let’s set aside Thursday evenings for the lovemaking’ approach. I see that is wrong now. My wife and I are going to work toward scheduling at least one evening a week for intimacy.”

Kick back, relax and enjoy.
Easier said than done, right? With time, people become a little more secure with who they are, and that means as lovers, too.

Cherie, who is 51, writes: “Young men are so anxious — it’s the act they are interested in. An older man is just as anxious, but he knows how much more joy good foreplay can bring. He knows how to pace himself and wait for his mate.”

One 50-year-old woman longed for the body she had at 20, but admitted she was more comfortable with herself now nevertheless. Men spoke about accepting less endurance and even, in a few cases, the need to rely on Viagra, so long as it works.

In the end, the confidence of middle age can translate into increasing pleasure. “I am 47 years old and I enjoy sexual relations better now than I ever have,” writes Junie. “I am more confident, self-assured, comfortable and feel like I’m just reaching my sexual maturity.”

There’s nothing you can’t talk about.
Back to that ideal movie version of lovemaking with no talk, just moans and groans of delight. That’s not realistic most of the time. “When you get to a certain point in your life, you realize everything comes with problems,” writes Jan, who doesn’t give her age. “It’s not the end of the world. You can talk about them.”

Justine, 28, who is enjoying a relationship with a 42-year-old man, suggested older men are more open to everything. “The thing people seem to miss out on is just how much joy can be found by being able to talk about anything, including ideas and fantasies.”

Find the right person.
Overwhelmingly, those who wrote in giving their sex lives rave reviews gave their mates rave reviews as well.

“Lovers make love in many ways,” says Dee. “Not just in bed, but the whole time they spend together should be devoted to making love, a touch, a smile, a caress, a kiss on the neck as he passes you in the kitchen.”

One correspondent bragged that her man likes to cuddle after sex. Hey, folks. It doesn’t get any better than that.

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5
Oct


Most kids agree that having dad around the house is a definite plus — even if he doesn’t always live at home. Given the variety of home environments and parenting styles experienced by children of the ’90s, there’s no doubt the ones who spend time with Dad reap bigtime benefits.

And new evidence suggests that the more nesting a father does with his child, the smarter that child will be.

The proof comes from research recently published in Child Development that says fathers who spend time with their children raise kids with better language skills and fewer behavior problems.

“As we head into the next century, we’re finding that the traditional family model of a married couple with kids and a dog is becoming less common. Added involvement from a father helps children tremendously,” says Maureen Black, a professor of pediatrics at the University of Maryland School of Medicine.

A father’s unique contributions were measured by a team of researchers who studied 175 3-year-old children from low-income African American families. A father figure was present in 73 percent of the families, and almost all these men had daily contact with their children.

Throughout the study, fathers and mothers were videotaped separately playing with their children and then asked individually about their contributions to the family and about how they felt about being parents.

The study revealed that fathers who were satisfied parents contributed financially to the family and were nurturing while playing with their kids. Their children had higher cognitive and language skills.

When a father lived with the child, the household was more focused on child rearing.

Results of the study convinced authors that fathers remain an integral part of every child’s well-being.

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7
Sep


Each week, dozens of people write to me asking for sexual advice or information. Here are answers to some of the most common questions:

How do I increase the size of my penis?

You can’t. The tissue in penises is not the kind you can pump up with exercise. There’s nothing you can permanently inject or implant into it safely. And there’s no plastic surgery to enhance it. Fortunately, overwhelming numbers of people making love with men insist that penis size does not matter to them.

How do I tell my mate what I want (or don’t want) sexually?

There’s no substitute for clear, direct, simple statements. Most people want more information from their partner, not less. So just tell him or her what you want. Do it in a friendly, non-complaining way when you have plenty of time to listen to each other. And do not bring up other issues during the conversation; write them down for future talks.

How can a woman climax more easily?

Most women climax from stimulation of the clitoris, not from vaginal intercourse. And each woman’s preferences differ. So every woman needs to instruct her partner on how she wants to be touched. Several lessons are usually needed; make them as enjoyable and friendly as you can, rather than mechanical or grim. A lubricant, vibrator, mirror, music or refreshments may help; lessons should be no longer than 30 minutes each.

I think my partner is fooling around with someone else. What are the signs of infidelity?

Don’t play detective or psychologist. If you have evidence or suspicions, tell your partner. Ask for an explanation. If it’s at all plausible, believe it. If you have continued suspicions, go with your partner to a marriage counselor. If you’re in obvious pain, and your mate is innocent, he/she will probably go willingly.

Tips:

  • Sexual communication starts before you take off your clothes — learn to enjoy getting to know each other better.
  • Remember, there’s no such thing as “normal” sexual preferences. Talk about what you like and dislike, not what’s “right.”
  • Mistrust undermines eroticism. If there’s something you’re uneasy about, clear it up as soon as possible.

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31
Aug


We live in an age of options and solutions.

The average Joe can learn how to participate in the stock market. A 50-year-old homemaker can go to law school. A longtime couple can figure out why one of them keeps falling asleep during sex.

“The pragmatic approach is the only one that makes sense — and that is for everything,” says Bernie Zilbergeld, the author ofThe New Male Sexuality: The Truth About Men, Sex and Pleasure.

Perhaps because boomers were the first generation to talk about sex compulsively, the subject has become pragmatic and ordinary. That means people can seek practical solutions, like talking about problems or taking a pill.

We live in an era of options, Zilbergeld says. Would you benefit from counseling? Great. Get it. Need a boost for physical or psychological reasons? Try Viagra. Do you wonder if your partner would enjoy something? Try it. Or better yet, ask.

Zilbergeld says progress on the man-woman front is not advancing as quickly as, say, Internet technology. But there is progress.

“We are in an era of growing personal freedom, and people are adopting the religion of pragmatism,” he says.

Zilbergeld says making sexual relationships work calls for communication, conflict resolution, experimentation, assertiveness and sensitivity. It doesn’t mean mystery-enshrouded tantric yoga or hand-me-down ideas from the ancients.

“There are grounds for hope,” Zilbergeld says. “I am cautiously optimistic.”

Even recent history is littered with many outdated models.

“Women were led to believe that a so-called vaginal orgasm was for truly mature women. Guys were killing themselves trying to learn how to give them one. Women felt as though they had to be multi-orgasmic. It was always how things should be. Today, we just say, `Try a bunch of things and see what works. It no longer has to be any particular way.’”

This kind of openness and pragmatism is only possible if people believe, as Zilbergeld does, that sex is good and natural and private.

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