Blog

16
Feb


Q. What is sex therapy and how do I know if I need it?

. Sex therapy is a set of behavioral and psychotherapeutic techniques used with men, women and couples to enhance sexual functioning. You might see a sex therapist if you don’t get erections when you want to; get excited but can’t climax; have pain with intercourse; or notice your sexual enjoyment declining and don’t know why.

Couples go to a sex therapist when they argue about frequency (she wants sex twice a week, he wants it twice a year); preferences (he wants oral sex, she doesn’t); or what’s acceptable (he wants to watch porn and she doesn’t, or she wants monogamy and he doesn’t). Your psychologist or physician might refer you to sex therapy if they can’t provide a solution to (or they aren’t comfortable with) your difficulty.

Q. How can I be sure the sex therapist is credible?

A. Above all, a good sex therapist is a good psychotherapist, someone who can ask questions you haven’t thought of, and see patterns you haven’t seen. Select a professional with a good reputation, or get a recommendation from a physician or friend. You want someone who’s comfortable with sex, and with whom you feel you can tell the truth without being judged. If the therapist seems more interested in him- or herself than in you, flirts with you or suggests that you’re abnormal or kinky, run for the door.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Category : Blog
9
Feb


In the movie City Slickers, the wisecracking lead character says, “Men don’t need a reason to have sex; they just need a place.”

The place? How about an MRI tube, that long, narrow tunnel where medical personnel take pictures of your insides to figure out what’s wrong.

The reason? Let’s try furthering medical science.

The eight couples that helped produce first-ever Magnetic Resonance Imaging pictures of human sexual intercourse proved that the penis bends backwards — like a boomerang — during missionary position coitus.

schwing Dutch Capture Hot Sex on MRI

Admittedly, romance was challenged in the claustrophic space where movement is actually forbidden, but researchers threw up a makeshift curtain for privacy and asked each couple to hold still just long enough to capture their pelvises on the mark and in focus.

All but one couple needed a boost from Viagra.

The Viagra-free couple was, not coincidentally, “a pair of amateur street acrobats who are trained and used to performing under stress,” according to Willibrord Weijmar Schultz, an associate professor of gynecology at the University Hospital Groningen in the Netherlands.

This pair of high-achieving research participants may have been happy to find any suitable place. But Schultz nonetheless praised “their scientific curiosity, knowledge of the body and artistic commitment.”

The researcher regarded his experiment as a true artistic endeavor. After all, didn’t Leonardo da Vinci produce an elegant but now inaccurate anatomical sketch called “The Copulation” some 500 years ago? The MRI art Schultz produced may not be theMona Lisa, but he can say he set the Renaissance master straight about the bend.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Category : Blog
2
Feb


You won’t find a picture of Rachel Walton on Match.com. Nor will you find the 42-year-old Florida natural-health enthusiast, writer and former nurse describing herself in a newspaper personals ad.

Not that these dating aids are wrong, but “it’s not my style,” says Walton. “I can’t even imagine I could pull that one off.”

In a generation where we — unlike Mom and Dad — have had the freedom to question, to explore inner feelings, to do life and relationships differently, many of us have tried to shed the old-time societal messages.

The ’90s saw a backlash, for example, against the oft-quoted 1986 Newsweekcover story, “The Marriage Crunch,” which said that never-wed, white, college-educated women 40 or older were “more likely to be killed by a terrorist than to find husbands.”

“At times I feel lonely, but my life is not about looking to find a man,” says Walton. “If I find a man, that would be wonderful, but it’s not my goal, and it’s not going to be what makes everything all better.”

What is her goal? “My goal is to find my mission in life — that may or may not include a relationship.

“It’s a subtle difference between having my whole attention on waiting for a relationship, vs. breathing more deeply into who I am and standing in that.”

She came to a new way of being single in her 40s. Before that, the questions cropped up mostly at key events, such as the marriages of her brothers.

“At those times, it was very much, `Why does it work for other people and not for me?’” Walton says. “Then they have one child after the other, and each time, it’s like, `Do I want that, can I have that, should I be wanting that? Is there something wrong with me?’ ”

The biological clock is only one of several thorny issues: What to do with sexual urges and fears of growing old alone are others.

“At times, being single holds a quality of aloneness and solitude that is good and right,” Walton says. “At other times, being single feels full of loneliness which is, at times, unbearable.

“Waking up in the middle of the night, or when I’m first waking in the morning,” she adds. “Those threshold times can feel particularly vulnerable.”

While Walton’s 7-year-old Lab mix Mattie does provide some comfort, she misses having someone to share with day-to-day. On some level, however, she is using this time in her life — over 40 and single — as a path to growth.

“There’s some way that some deep exploration and connection into myself needs to be there,” she says. “That’s the journey, and it’s not easy, and it’s not quick and simple, and it’s not necessarily comfortable.”

Popularity: unranked [?]

Category : Blog
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