There is nothing wrong with a few well-worn habits. But the same old, same old can get stale — even with sex.
A moratorium on sex “creates a little more tension, a little more desire,” says Kaplan.
Think you’re ready to give abstinence a try? Keep the following in mind:
Be careful what you ask for.
You don’t want your request to come out like this, “I’d like to not have sex for a while…” Convey the things you’d like to do instead, not the things you don’t want to do.
Be clear about your goals.
If her aim is to explore Oriental and Swedish massage and his aim is to have sex in every way he can think of but intercourse, these lab partners may be off on wildly different experiments.
Abstaining for one or two weeks is plenty, says Kaplan. This isn’t punishment or penitence; it’s part of your journey of discovery.
Communicate your desires.
Abstinence may make the heart grow fonder, but don’t let the prospect of a little pent-up desire move your decision. A better relationship and improved communication is still the best motivator. A moratorium can be an excellent tool in getting there.
Don’t recognize failure.
What if you violated the moratorium, broke down and had wild sex. So what? Nothing’s lost and everything is gained, says Kaplan. You’ve just found a way to enhance your pleasure, and that was the goal in the first place.
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