Sensuality vs. Sexuality


Men make love more intensely at 20, but make love better, however, at 30.

What could be more encouraging than a professional opinion agreeing with Catherine — unless, of course, it’s confirmation that you can expect the same into your 40s, and 50s, and perhaps, into your 60s?

“Passion knows no age,” says psychologist Bernard Apfelbaum, Ph.D. ”People are amazed that when they’re in their 60s, they can get a crush on someone — be in their 60s and feel like they did in high school.”

But does aging affect a man’s sexual performance? We asked Apfelbaum, who’s director of the Berkeley Sex Therapy Clinic in Berkeley, Calif.

“If a man is healthy and doesn’t have any relationship problems, his sexual functioning shouldn’t be affected. This usually doesn’t come into play until a man reaches his 60s. Actually, the differences between men themselves are greater than what happens with age,” he stressed.

“You can look at it as sexuality vs. sensuality,” he added, confirming that men peak sexually in their late teens and early 20s. ”Earlier on, men are more hormonally driven. As they age, what arouses them is more psychological. They’re looking at being in the moment, in touching and connection in a relationship, and for lack of a better term, less interested in getting off.”

Then what makes so many men turn to younger women? we asked. Apfelbaum’s answer:

“The problems come up when men try and recapture the sex of their youth. Many men get anxious if they can’t perform in exactly the same way they used to. They look for younger women, fantasies, and even pornography as a way of going back.”

Finally, we asked Dr. Apfelbaum whether he would agree with the following statement:

“There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.”

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