7
Sep


Each week, dozens of people write to me asking for sexual advice or information. Here are answers to some of the most common questions:

How do I increase the size of my penis?

You can’t. The tissue in penises is not the kind you can pump up with exercise. There’s nothing you can permanently inject or implant into it safely. And there’s no plastic surgery to enhance it. Fortunately, overwhelming numbers of people making love with men insist that penis size does not matter to them.

How do I tell my mate what I want (or don’t want) sexually?

There’s no substitute for clear, direct, simple statements. Most people want more information from their partner, not less. So just tell him or her what you want. Do it in a friendly, non-complaining way when you have plenty of time to listen to each other. And do not bring up other issues during the conversation; write them down for future talks.

How can a woman climax more easily?

Most women climax from stimulation of the clitoris, not from vaginal intercourse. And each woman’s preferences differ. So every woman needs to instruct her partner on how she wants to be touched. Several lessons are usually needed; make them as enjoyable and friendly as you can, rather than mechanical or grim. A lubricant, vibrator, mirror, music or refreshments may help; lessons should be no longer than 30 minutes each.

I think my partner is fooling around with someone else. What are the signs of infidelity?

Don’t play detective or psychologist. If you have evidence or suspicions, tell your partner. Ask for an explanation. If it’s at all plausible, believe it. If you have continued suspicions, go with your partner to a marriage counselor. If you’re in obvious pain, and your mate is innocent, he/she will probably go willingly.

Tips:

  • Sexual communication starts before you take off your clothes — learn to enjoy getting to know each other better.
  • Remember, there’s no such thing as “normal” sexual preferences. Talk about what you like and dislike, not what’s “right.”
  • Mistrust undermines eroticism. If there’s something you’re uneasy about, clear it up as soon as possible.

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3
Aug


Now it’s time to have orgasm without ejaculation. This takes more practice than the Kegels, and it’s trickier, but it’s worth it.

The key is to pull yourself to the very brink of ejaculation and then stop all friction. I found it helps a great deal to press myself in the perineum, the skin between the genitals and the anus. Some books recommend pinching the head of the penis with three fingers, but this didn’t work for me — the additional pressure sent me over the edge.

The first time you stop at the border, you probably won’t have an orgasm. But keep it up. Go just short of ejaculation, stop stroking and press your perineum, and wait until you’re in control again.

It’s tricky to find your personal boundary; the point where you’re maybe one stroke short of ejaculating. I would say I stopped at the border at least 25 times before I was able to have an orgasm without ejaculating. But it’s like being a budding X-Man: once you discover how to use your powers, it gets increasingly easy to use them again and again. Just call me ShudderMan.

Some books recommend trying this through masturbation first, because you have greater control. Luckily, I have a partner who was willing to take me to the brink orally. I think this works better than penetrative intercourse at first because just sliding out of the vagina can be enough to push you over.

Once you’ve mastered the technique, however, you can prolong vaginal intercourse until you’re both exhausted, or maybe until the kids have to go to college. When you do finally let go and ejaculate, the final orgasm is extremely intense.

So what are you waiting for? Oh, the restroom. Sorry, I’ll just be another few minutes.

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4
May


What adventures should you get your playmate interested in? Well, we’ll tell you

For starters, we’ll tell you how planning your encounters ahead of time will spice up your relationship. We’ll also tell you how to get the conditions right for a hot night.

You’ve probably seen ads for “herbal Viagra” in various forms. We’ll debunk the erroneous claims while presenting some herbs that might help. We’ll also let you know about prescription drugs that might be turning your libido into a wet noodle.

Is your spouse around? No? Great, ’cause we’re going to tell you how to use masturbation to improve your sexual responsiveness.

When it’s time to get together, we’ll tell you how to use porn to get the ball rolling. We explain some techniques for better oral sex, as well as some sex toys you might want to try.

Men, why should we stop with one orgasm? We’ll tell you how to become multi-orgasmic in just a few short weeks: an editorial gift from MyPrimeTime that lasts a lifetime. Aye, she’ll like it too.

And just for fun, take our quiz to determine what kind of sexual animal you are now. Maybe you’re a lion lying down with the lambs.

So go ahead: plunge right in. Er, click where it feels right. I mean … ah, just read the stories already. Your better sex life is about to start, you lucky, lucky reader.

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