9
Jun


It seems you can’t pick up a newspaper or magazine these days without reading about “sexual dysfunction.” While it’s great that sexual issues are being discussed publicly, some of the talk is misleading.

Some physicians, drug companies and the self-help industry seem to believe that everyone should be able to function sexually under all circumstances — and that if we can’t, we have a sexual dysfunction. That’s how they arrive at their recent inflated numbers: that 20 million men are “impotent,” and 40 million women have “female sexual dysfunction.”

These numbers are a product of extremely broad categories. In reality, no body works perfectly all the time. Someone should only be diagnosed sexually dysfunctional if his or her difficulty is chronic, occurring repetitively over a period of time.

All limp penises are not alike. The guy who can’t get it up while feeling the pressure of trying to conceive, the guy who loses his erection when he has sex while angry and the guy who has never had reliable erections as an adult are three entirely different cases. The first two men are certainly not impotent, and the third’s problem may be emotional, physical or some of each.

Similarly, a woman who can’t climax with a husband who criticizes her all week long, a woman who can’t orgasm because she’s too inhibited to ask for her favorite touching and a woman who can’t enjoy sex at all because she was traumatized as a girl are three entirely different situations. We’d have to know more about each of them to know exactly what’s wrong, and what would help them most.

Sexual desire and response involve a complicated mix of biology, psychology, culture and situation. Our bodies require the right blend of all of these to function the way we’d like. Labeling someone or yourself as “dysfunctional” without taking this into account is a mistake. Don’t let a narrow-minded pharmaceutical/medical industry or the simplistic popular press persuade you that you have a problem when you’re merely human.

Our emotions and genitals are connected, and so our feelings affect our sexual functioning. An occasional disappointment does not make you dysfunctional. For an accurate diagnosis of any sexual difficulty, see a sex therapist or specially trained physician; magazines or self-help books are insufficient.

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Category : Blog
2
Jun


As easy to use as Viagra, a cream called Topiglan shows promise in treating erectile dysfunction with fewer side effects than the blue pill, reports the urologist leading studies on the drug for MacroChem pharmaceuticals.

Applied to the head of the penis, Topiglan is a new way to deliver a well-established drug called alprostadil, which, like Viagra, increases blood flow to the penis.

“This is truly a novel administration of a well-accepted medicine,” says Dr. Irwin Goldstein, the Boston University urologist leading the current round of studies on Topiglan.

In clinical trials on men with moderate to severe impotence, Topiglan had a 40 percent success rate in producing erections that were likely to have been satisfactory for sexual intercourse, according to the study.

Goldstein’s study involved measuring erections in men who were observed in a partnerless “rather clinical” setting. The next phase of testing, Goldstein said, will include at-home trials.

“No soft lights, no music, not even a partner, and yet, within 45 to 60 minutes of applications, almost 40 percent of the impotent men receiving Topiglan produced erections sufficient for intercourse, versus less than 7 percent receiving a placebo gel,” said Goldstein.

The worst recorded side effect of the cream was skin irritation, reported Goldstein. The side effects of Viagra are well documented, including blurred vision, headaches and potential complications in patients who take other medications.

At present, the options for administering alprostadil are injection at the base of the penis or catheterization in the urethra before intercourse.

Goldstein is cautiously optimistic about the prospects for developing a prescription ointment. MacroChem President Alvin Karloff said the gel could be ready for the American market in two or three years, if continued studies and FDA approval go smoothly.

Meanwhile, another company, NexMex of Robbinsville, N.J., says it is on a fast track to develop a similar alprostadil-based gel, which it hopes to have for sale on international markets early next year, according to vice president Vivian Liu.

That company recently reported favorable results from a study in China among men suffering from mild to moderate impotence.

Karloff did not rule out the possibility of a somewhat accelerated timetable for Topiglan development for the international market. He stressed that an absolute guarantee of Topiglan’s safety and efficacy has to be established.

An impotence gel has shown promise in a clinical setting. The product, Topiglan, is scheduled for at-home testing. The active ingredient in Topiglan is aprostrodil, which dilates blood vessels in the penis. A competitor to the company developing Topiglan plans to put its product on the international market soon.

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Category : Blog
1
Jun


Here’s another benefit of education: If you went to college, you’re twice as likely, compared to high-school dropouts, to enjoy oral sex.

Don’t underestimate the importance of going down. Married men will pay strangers if they’re not getting oral sex at home; it’s estimated that 75 percent of New York City streetwalkers’ business is fellatio.

While men love it, many women need it. A survey of Army wives in happy marriages showed they could reach orgasm through intercourse only 25 percent of the time, but with cunnilingus, it’s 81 percent. So be all that you can be!

Just as with gifts, being a good recipient will pay off in the long run. If your partner wants you to bathe first (I always do), do it, without protesting about the importance of natural aroma. Making love is not about scoring political points — it’s about making each other happy.

Here are more tips for giving and getting. Your relationship may depend on it more than you realize.

Cunnilingus

Women sometimes complain that men don’t know what women like. There’s a good reason.

Sex advice columnist Dan Savage recently ran a series of letters from women describing what turned them on, and each had somebody directly contradict them. Some women want their clitoris sucked; others say it hurts.

Some women enjoy a tongue in their labia; others feel violated. Some women like men to hum the alphabet song while licking their clitoris in the shape of the letters; others think that’s childish and a turnoff, even if you can sing it in French.

What struck me about these letters was how many wrote “it’s good” rather than “I like.” It seems women don’t always realize their personal preference is just that.

This does not mean you shouldn’t have cunnilingus just the way you like it. However, you can’t expect your mate to know how that is. Nor, perhaps, do you even know how what’s best yourself.

There may be some exciting new technique you haven’t even tried that will revolutionize your sex life. Happy experimenting.

Don’t go straight for the genitals.

Many women find a direct clitoral assault physically painful. Kiss a bit and stroke the inner thighs first.

Get comfortable, both of you.

I like to be on my back when I’m performing cunnilingus, with a pillow or two under my head for neck support. I hate it when she’s on her back, but some women like the feel of the man kneeling before her. However, remember that if you ask your partner to do something that makes them uncomfortable, they’re not likely to volunteer often.

One more point — some nights women just don’t feel like getting head, even if they ordinarily enjoy it. If she says no twice and tries to push you away, believe her.

Hum while you lick and suck.

This turns your mouth into a vibrator. However, never blow air into the vagina — pregnant women have died from embolisms.

Ladies, moan loudly when you like something.

Don’t be shy about giving him direct instructions on where to lick, either. If you don’t tell him, he won’t know.

Fellatio

Conventional wisdom says fellatio is easier to get right than cunnilingus. There’s a barroom joke that goes, “I just had the worst blow job of my life. It was great.”

But Shere Hite reported that slightly more women can reach orgasm through oral sex than men. Most men like fellatio as foreplay, but as gay men with sore jaws will tell you, it’s not so easy to make it the final act.

Fortunately, men’s preferences are far more predictable in receiving oral sex than women’s. These tips will help pleasure most guys, presumably even Hugh Grant.

Keep your word, men.

If you promise not to come in her mouth, keep your promise. Otherwise, you may have traded hours of pleasurable fellatio foreplay for hours of apologizing and begging her to give you another chance.

If she doesn’t like the taste of semen, you can improve it through your diet. Pineapple juice is the most famous tonic. I drank a quart of this one afternoon and my partner, who wasn’t happy about participating in this experiment even for journalistic purposes, said it gave a pleasant enough citrus flavor that she was willing to try it again with different juices. (“Maybe mango next,” she said.) That’s a small price to pay, boys.

Pretend it’s a surprisingly warm popsicle.

Don’t be shy about handling the penis. You can save yourself a lot of gagging by gripping the base firmly and concentrating your mouth on the head and top of the shaft.

Men like it when you lick the shaft, and particularly when you lick the frenulum — a small strip of skin just below the head on the underside.

However, there’s no substitute for taking it in your mouth and just sucking. If you can lick while you’re doing it, even better. Pressure, motion and moisture will drive most men to distraction.

Try some additional flavoring.

Altoids got a great advertising boost when people began telling about sucking the mints at the same time they were giving fellatio. It’s an interesting change of pace — try it.

Other worthwhile experiments: hold a small ice cube in your mouth, or take occasional sips of hot tea.

Love me, love my Johnson.

Men place an enormous amount of personal value on their penis. If you love your man, think of his penis the same way — as an embodiment of him, who you’re making deliriously happy.

The best head I’ve ever received has depended not on technique, but on feeling: I feel like she really enjoyed doing it. Learn to feel this, or fake it convincingly, and you’ll have your partner glaze-eyed in no time.

 

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Category : Blog
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