17
Aug


People should try having sex early in the morning instead of trying to shoehorn lovemaking into the end of a long, trying workday, suggests sex and couples counselor Eleanor Hamilton, 90.

Hamilton, who hung out her shingle in Manhattan in the early ’70s, celebrated her 90thbirthday yesterday by continuing to dispense motherly advice on sex and intimacy through the Pt. Reyes Light, a Marin County, Calif., newspaper which has carried her column since the mid-’80s.

Hamilton sees how harried and busy couples are these days, and knows how tough it is to maintain interest in a fulfilling sexual relationship. “I think you need to focus fully and shut out the rest of the world for good sex,” she says. “You need to literally go someplace, where you know there will be no telephone, and no interruptions.”

Take advantage of hours when your energy level is at its peak, she adds.

“The more appreciative you are of the other person, the better your sex life will be,” says Hamilton. “In the business world, people get torn down all day long; it’s wonderful to come home and have someone that’s there especially for you. My husband used to always bring me breakfast in bed and that was just a delight to me.”

Hamilton feels that a relationship goes dead when people lose their passion for each other. A relationships with no passion leaves both men and women ripe for an affair. “So many people stop listening to each other in relationships and that’s what erodes intimacy.”

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Category : Blog
28
Jul


How can you get closer to the one you’re with? By understanding the many ways to ignite intimacy.

Intimacy takes many forms: verbal, physical, sexual, spiritual, says Klein. A relationship is all the more powerful — and intimate — when it features more than one of these forms.

Begin your exploration of intimacy with the verbal variety. There are two revealing questions you must first ask of yourself, and then a third you must ask of a loved one.

Once you’ve considered your feelings about getting close, you’re ready to hear the truth about intimacy. Everyone from Oprah to your best friend to Aunt Mabel has a different definition of it, and they’re not always right.

After you put the myths about intimacy aside, you’re ready to draw your partner closer. Spend time getting to know your partner’s dreams and desires. Learn to nurture your relationship, and you’ll keep the sparks flying.

Enough talking. Isn’t sex a part of intimacy? Our readers want to know and we have the answer.

If there’s one thing sure to spoil intimacy, it’s jealously. While occasional pangs of the stuff are natural in most loving relationships,persistent jealously will put out the flame in hearts once afire.

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Category : Blog
11
Apr


Female Orgasms. It’s a subject I’m often asked about. Here are the answers to three common questions about female orgasms.

Q: I rarely come with my boyfriend, even though I come fine by myself. What should we do?

A: Since you come fine when you get the stimulation you like, the primary question is, are you getting this stimulation with your partner? Most women with orgasm difficulties expect to climax from intercourse alone (which rarely provides adequate stimulation), or from touching that isn’t to their liking. Is your fear of the big bad male ego preventing you from telling your mate what you like? If you’re giving more explicit information to the person who makes your lunch than to your sexual partner, there’s something wrong.

Another reason some women fail to climax with a partner is that they’re self-conscious — about the way they look, smell, taste or sound. Sex is not the time to be ladylike, and orgasm is not the time to think about your appearance. Everyone looks and sounds funny when they come. As for taste and smell, ask your partner. Many men love a woman’s vaginal juices and their place of origin. You don’t have to like it, if he does, that’s good enough.

Finally, some women have trouble coming with a partner because they don’t trust or like him, or don’t trust or like men in general. If that’s the case, either get a different partner or see a professional therapist.

Q: It takes me too long to cum. What should I do?

A: Are you having sex with a stopwatch? Is your partner in a hurry to get to his broker or to church? Most women concerned about taking too long are afraid their partner is getting bored. Rather than pressuring yourself to come quicker, ask your partner how he genuinely feels about this. If either of you is bored, make sex more entertaining. If you’re using a vibrator together, add some kissing, nipple sucking (his or yours), or other pleasures. Talk or caress each other. Don’t strain to come — it’ll take longer, and you won’t enjoy anything that’s going on, clitoral or otherwise,

Q: I saw a film in which women ejaculated when they climaxed. How can I do that?

A: A tiny percentage of women expel fluid when they climax (leaking a bit of urine is actually more common). Mostly either you do or you don’t; it’s not something you can practice. What you can do is experiment with your G Spot, a nickel-size area on the front inside wall of your vagina. In some women this spot becomes very sensitive after they’re excited, and continued stimulation can lead to orgasm. Occasionally, this orgasm is accompanied by about a half-teaspoon of fluid.

Your other option is to become a porn star — that is, have someone edit the footage of your sexual encounters to give you a female ejaculation. Added, of course, to a gigantic orgasm just from looking at an erect penis.

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Category : Blog
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