19
Jan


Men are more likely to start their lonely-hearts search by casting a wide net and trying to arrange dates with as many eligible women as possible, according to Douglas Raybeck, a professor of anthropology at Hamilton College in Clinton, N.Y.

Women are more selective. They’re more cautious about embarking on serial dates and more likely to focus on one prospective mate at a time.

The good news is that most lonely hearts are honest about themselves. The personals are probably not a hotbed for liars and imposters, according to Raybeck. However, novices should be aware of common literary double entendres before arranging dates.

Here are a few to keep in mind:

Full-figured — Obese or overweight

Discreet encounter — Married man anxious to avoid a real-life re-enactment ofFatal Attraction

Enjoys fine dining — A woman seeking a partner willing and able to spend money on her

Enjoys cozy nights by a warm fire — Possible couch potato

40-ish — Closer to 45, or possibly 50

Enjoys movies — Probably spends more time watching TV

No head games — Looking for a sincere partner willing to make a lifelong commitment

Tired of the singles’ scene — Hoping to get hitched. Fast

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Category : Blog
22
Dec


In some parallel universe, sex is perfect. Not only is it always flat-out fantastic; you get precisely what you want without asking.

In this universe, you have to ask.

1. Make your request an invitation.
Use positive words and phrases, says Kevin Gogin, a marriage and family counselor. “I thought it would be fun if …”

2. Be specific.
It may seem awkward to give a tutorial in the middle of lovemaking, but practice makes perfect.

3. Make everything voluntary.
When you put the pressure on, the message is, “You better give me what I deserve.” Asking instead of telling makes your request a choice.

4. Cater to your partner’s desires.
The more you take interest in what thrills her, the more she will want to do likewise.

5. Feel free to change your mind.
Expressing your likes, writes Dr. Miriam Stoppard in The Magic Of Sex, “doesn’t mean … you might express a different preference on a different occasion.”

6. Be adventurous — a little at a time.
Before you whip out the handcuffs, “start with something simple,” advises Michael Castleman in Sexual Solutions.

7. Master love outside the bedroom.
Do you give her a foot rub without prompting? Do you seek him out the second you walk in the door? Work on giving each other what you want on many levels.

8. Don’t take it too seriously.
Sex may be an important part of your life, but a single experience is not. Keep it fun and playful.

9. Open up to new experiences.
And put them in writing, suggests Tracey Cox, author of Hot Relationships. Each person lists 10 things he or she would like to do in bed. Trade lists. Ditch what you can’t agree on.

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Category : Blog
8
Sep


Is your relationship going strong or struggling for survival? Every relationship has difficulties, but some couples really are in trouble. Wake up to these common warning signs.

Avoidance. Like medicine, certain conversations are necessary for relationship health. If you (or your mate) keep avoiding certain topics, such as sex, money or chores, it means you don’t trust the relationship’s mechanisms for fixing things.

Some people avoid their mate in other ways: taking on extra work or community projects, always inviting friends or family to join them, or going to bed earlier or later than their partner. All of these create more distance.

Adversaries. The goal of healthy conflict is for people to understand each other’s viewpoint and make adjustments for the benefit of the relationship. If you are so angry that you deliberately say things to hurt your partner, you both have a problem.

It’s also a problem if you often feel defensive. Your relationship should be a place where you feel comfortable, accepted and trusted. If you’re always ready to explain or defend yourself, as if the next attack is just around the corner, the relationship is no longer your home.

That sour taste. You can gauge your relationship by listening to the way you talk about it with your friends. Do you complain a lot? Call your mate names like “ball and chain” or “Godzilla”? Are you jealous of your friends, wishing you had their life or their partner? Do you fantasize much about how great it would be to be single? These are all messages that your relationship is in trouble.

Don’t panic if you notice one of these warning signs in a week. But if you’re aware of several, or one persists, take action.

Talk to your mate honestly, even though now that’s the most difficult thing for you to do. If you can’t begin to resolve your problems, seek professional help. As with our physical health, many complex relationship problems can be healed if addressed in time.

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Category : Blog
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