Our emotions affect our sexual functioning. It sounds obvious when you say it, but many people behave as if they don’t realize this.

Sexual response is a reflex. We perceive a physical or mental stimulus (say, a caress or a fantasy). This message travels to the brain, which sends a message down the spinal cord to various parts of the body, instructing them to respond with tingling, extra blood flow, etc.

Emotions are electrical and chemical events in the body. They either facilitate or disrupt the sex-related messages going up and down the spinal column. Thus, if your partner says, “your skin tastes good,” your emotions facilitate a sexual response. But if your partner calls you the wrong name, your emotions disrupt the sexual response. This is how common feelings such as anger, anxiety, sadness and frustration interfere with reflexes such as erection, lubrication and orgasm.

Many people tolerate negative emotions during sex in silence. Most men and women have experienced sex that made them feel uncomfortable. This could be due to anxiety about performance, fear or anger about being coerced, or sadness about having their needs ignored.

Bodies in these situations rarely respond in an ideal way. Unfortunately, people frequently blame themselves, rather than the situation, for their inadequate response. This is often the beginning of believing that they have a dysfunction. That leads to more anxiety during subsequent lovemaking, undermining sexual functioning even more.

Unlike computers, our bodies respond to irrational factors like expectations, memories and emotions. This means that being aware of our emotions is essential for satisfying sex. Your feelings may embarrass, surprise or confuse you, but they’re real, and their impact on sexual function is also real.

Penises and vulvas usually tell the truth: a frightened penis often shrivels; an angry vulva often tightens shut, and sad mouths rarely relax and enjoy kissing.

Admitting to yourself how you really feel may be uncomfortable, and discussing it with a partner may be even more uncomfortable. But there’s no substitute for connecting with yourself–or your partner–emotionally. It’s a key step toward healthy sexual functioning.

Tips: Before, during and after sex, don’t ignore how you feel just because you think it’s unromantic or inconvenient.Talk with your partner about feelings you have about sex, your body or your relationship. If you consistently feel bad about sex or your relationships, consider therapy.

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1057181 drinking water 4 Stay Hydrated: Common Sense and SexWhen it comes to sex, a lot of people don’t think about the fact that it’s a lot of work. It’s a very physical activity, and some people are more aggressive about it than others. Whether you like to take it slow and gentle, or whether you like to have one of those marathon, lasting forever, hanging-off-the-chandelier sex sessions, you still need to be aware of the calories that you’re burning and how easily you can get dehydrated. In women this can lead to vaginal dryness which can certainly be uncomfortable. Whether you’re male or female, though, pay attention to the signals that your body is giving you and whether you need to eat or drink something so that you’re not making yourself sick by trying to have some fun. People who are more aggressively sexual need better hydration, but even a more mild-mannered person can deplete his or her reserves more quickly than would be expected.

If you’re dieting heavily you should be more careful about sex, because you’ll get tired more easily and you want to protect your health. You should also be aware that you need to drink enough water throughout the day. Don’t try drinking a bunch of water right before sex to try to catch up. It can make you slosh, which is embarrassing, and it can make you have to pee, which will definitely interrupt what you’re trying to accomplish. Just be mindful of the fact that you’re actually getting a workout, and that you need to take care of your health just like you would with any exercise regimen.

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