24
Nov


Midlife Myth: Your sex life has seen better days, and decline is all you have to look forward to.

If sex is just about raging hormones and feats of stamina, youth takes the prize.

But there is so much more to the complete picture of sex and intimacy, says Dr. Bernie Zilbergeld, author of The New Male Sexuality.

Zilbergeld believes the following are more important than age:

  • The quality of openness, sensitivity and communication in your relationship.
  • The ability to focus on both giving and receiving.
  • The level of comfort and trust shared by you and your partner.
  • Your ability to be “present in the moment” without letting expectations or goals rule you.

With experience can come ever-increasing pleasure. “The lucky ones who have had the benefit of a sensitive, longtime partner — or a number of such partners — know they can keep growing sexually,” says Zilbergeld.

From a “performance” standpoint, there is a difference between young, old and those in between, says Zilbergeld, an Oakland-based sex therapist who currently is working on a myth-busting book about sex in later life.

“What is important is to be a great lover, not a great performer,” he says. “That takes years or decades to get really good at it.”

People in their early adult years tend to leave a lot to be desired in the “great lover” department, he adds.

Zilbergeld alludes to a study of middle-aged people in which nearly four out of 10 rated their sex not as equal or inferior to when they were young adults, but as “better than ever.”

Naturally, there are important health considerations that may be thrown into the mix. But healthy adults of all ages have the ability to grow sexually.

Bottom line: Sex is more about relating and mutual pleasure-giving than about objective standards of performance.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Category : Blog
15
Sep


There isn’t anything that all men love, but fellatio — having the penis licked, sucked or kissed — comes close.

Most men have their fellatio preferences and dislikes. Generally, they love when their partner is enthusiastic, relaxed and knowledgeable. As with other kinds of sex, men dislike fellatio when a partner is too rough, too gentle, inattentive to feedback or seems bored or resentful.

Men also don’t like to feel pressure to get erect or climax quickly to validate their partner’s skill. You can’t simply memorize the “best” way to do fellatio. You need to learn the particular things that your guy likes.

Fortunately, many people who make love to men enjoy fellatio, and they have preferences too. To avoid gagging or sore necks, every couple needs to discover the most comfortable positions. This will often be mouth on top and penis on bottom, allowing the top to control the depth and speed of penile thrusting.

Some people like to pretend that they’re being forced to fellate, while others hate to have their hair pulled. Communication is essential.

Any discussion of fellatio must address two questions: ejaculating and swallowing. Some people don’t want their mate to ejaculate into their mouth; others are OK with this, but don’t want to swallow semen.

The person doing the fellating should get the only vote on these questions. You should be in charge of what goes in your mouth or down your throat. Any guy who says he feels rejected if he can’t come in your mouth or if you won’t swallow his semen is either spoiled or selfish.

How can you respond to such selfishness? “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth,” or “I give you fabulous oral sex and you’re still not satisfied? Maybe we should forget the head altogether.”

You can invite him to lick his hand after he masturbates to give him some perspective, but remember, you don’t need a good reason to set limits.

Fellatio can, er, climax with him saying, “I’m gonna come,” and you stroking his penis while he does. Or he can come in your mouth and you can gracefully spit into a tissue a moment or two later.

Fellatio was glorified by the Greeks and damned by J. Edgar Hoover. You and your mate can make your own decision. Together.

Tips:

  • There isn’t anything inherently dirty about a penis, especially after a shower.
  • If your mate licks your vulva, you don’t “owe” him fellatio.
  • Feel free to pause or rest during fellatio, and to talk or cuddle if you like.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Category : Blog
3
Aug


749297 condom External Pressure Points And The G SpotThe G spot is located within the vagina, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t any external pressure points that can affect it. When a woman is stimulated both on the G spot and in an external area at the same time, it can lead to some of the most satisfying orgasms that she can have. That’s important, too, because it helps her partner please her, since she knows what works for her and what she wants. Each woman is different, too, and what one woman likes in the bedroom might be very different from what another woman likes. It’s worthwhile to take the time to get to know your partner so that you can give her the pleasure she’s looking for. Women can also please themselves in this way, either with their hands and fingers or with toys designed for the job.

No matter which option you choose, as a woman you know what you like and you shouldn’t be afraid to tell your partner. You can show him how you like things and what feels best to you, and that will let him see the different external pressure points that can be combined with G spot stimulation to bring you the maximum level of pleasure possible. A lot of women are uncomfortable discussing these kinds of things with their partner, but open and honest communication is the key to a healthy and satisfying sex life, so don’t be afraid to say what’s on your mind and provide guidance in the bedroom.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Category : Blog
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