What Is Swinging?


Most people in long-term relationships agree to be sexually exclusive. And then there are swingers.

When couples get sexually involved with other couples, it’s known as “swinging.” While this may sound like something out of the 60s or a thing the Californians cooked up, statistics say otherwise.

There are some 5 million Americans involved in swinging, in every part of the country and every age group. There are swingers’ clubs, magazines, conventions, even cruises. If you and your mate want to swing, you can find playmates easier than you might think.

“If” — is the key question. So how do you and your mate decide if swinging is a good idea for you?

Swinging is an adventure that can have both thrilling payoffs and terrible consequences. Swinging is not something people should get into if they’re angry at each other, or their relationship is dying. And while swinging may make life more enjoyable, it won’t make it simpler. The swinging life is more complicated, with more relationships to manage, more emotions to process, and more decisions to consider.

That said, most swingers are pretty enthusiastic. In addition to the obvious charm of having additional sex partners, many couples report that knowing about or seeing their partner having sex with others revs up the sexual energy within the couple. Sex therapists agree that’s something a lot of people are looking for.

To navigate the complexities of swinging, couples need trust, communication skills, genuine affection for each other, and a sense of humor. If you have plenty of each, you can consider moving forward.

Fantasize about your mate being sexual with someone in the next room; if you have to grit your teeth, forget it. But if that seems exciting, imagine and talk about it while you’re making love together: “and he’d be kissing your breasts, wouldn’t he, and I bet you’d be loving that, wouldn’t you…” If, and only if, this heats you both up, you can consider proceeding.

Most of all, you have to be really good at predicting your reaction to things. After all, you can stop swinging if you don’t like it. Forgetting what you’ve seen or felt, however, is a lot harder.

More on swinging:

  • Some couples go to swing clubs and only have sex with each other, enjoying the voyeurism and exhibitionism.
  • STD rates are lower among swingers than in the general population.

Spice it up without swinging:

  • Get the buzz on adult toys.
  • Catch some porn.
  • Try some erotic role-playing.
  • Lubricants: a lover’s best friend.
More on swinging:
Some couples go to swing clubs and only have sex with each other, enjoying the voyeurism and exhibitionism.
STD rates are lower among swingers than in the general population.

 

Spice it up without swinging:
Get the buzz on adult toys.
Catch some porn.
Try some erotic role-playing.
Lubricants: a lover’s best friend.

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